Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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