Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
