Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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