around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
