i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
