youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
