I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Hippo gnu deer
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
