i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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