Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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