You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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