I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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