i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
