you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
