one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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