So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
