So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
