What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You took a bar mat shot.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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