I hate your face
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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