Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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