Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
