I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
