Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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