Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I intend to get homeless drunk
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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