he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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