If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
