if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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