Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
