he wants to bone in the snuggie
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
