one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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