you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
