Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
