I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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