I'm laying in your front yard are you home
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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