And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
