i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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