we're blogging at a bar
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
