That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
