thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
