Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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