But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
