i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My ass is underappreciated
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
