imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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