This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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