well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
