I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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