p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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