dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
