Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
