You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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