Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
